Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
