wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
