I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
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