So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
