It's like God shit irony all over that family
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
