You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
