Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
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