Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
