I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
