shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
