Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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