You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My bed smells like the plague
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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