Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
