I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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