So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I love having hate sex.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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