I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
