This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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