My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
