Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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