Swine flu. Run for my life!
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
