i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
