i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
