I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize