Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
