I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
