whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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