it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
