you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
