I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
