lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
