Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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