so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
