theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
