you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
false alarm, still single
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
