there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
