I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
