why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
