It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Are my feet made of real feet?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
