Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
