I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
