A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
