I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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