yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
