And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
