I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
