I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Randomize
