Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
