Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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