He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
