Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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