Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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