careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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