I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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