D3 body, D1 cock
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize