Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
